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It is easy to be caught up in the details of your day, dresses, colors, table settings, etc. However, the most important preparation is the internal journey each of you is taking to merge together on your wedding day.
 Your marriage ceremony is a celebration of your destinies, each other. This is the opportunity to acknowledge that your union as a team requires also a willingness for individual growth.
No matter how many professionals, family and friends are there
to help, and no matter who you choose to officiate, it is vital
that you own your ceremony. Be sure to ask every question you can
think of. In this way, when the ceremony begins, you can focus
on what is really important; your personal pledge to one another.
Whatever your venue or theme, you want the ceremony to be at least
what you want it to be. Obviously once it's over, its time for
the party of your life.
Of course, when we think of weddings, we think of traditions like
wearing something borrowed or blue, an exchange of rings and a kiss.
We can also include rituals unique to your heritage and beliefs.
Do you want to jump the broom or break a glass? Let's discuss what
is right for you and significant for your families. Your marriage
is the union of a couple. It is also the coming together of two
families. It's important we ensure no one is left out or offended
by your choice of rituals.
Your vows?
Perhaps you have always dreamed of saying your own vows. With as
much overall guidance and structural help from me as you need,
I know you can write significant and beautiful vows. Start by sitting
down with your partner and talking about your daily lives, how
you feel about marriage and what the day will mean to you. Then,
do you have a favorite poet, singer or philosopher? Do you want
your vows to acknowledge the institution of marriage? Some couples
incorporate their own sense of humor. Some like to say what I provide
them, for instance...
"From this day I take you, to live with you and laugh
with you, to stand by your side and sleep in your arms, to be
joy to your heart and food to your soul, to bring out the best
in you always; and, for you, to be the most that I can. I vow
to wipe your tears from my hand, to comfort with you with my body
and to mirror you with my soul."
If your future family attending have a limited understanding of English, learn to say your vows in your sweetheart's language. One of the most moving weddings I ever witnessed was where a Bride had taken the extraordinary effort to say her vows in Cantonese. Needless to say it brought the family to absolute tears of joy to hear her recite her own feelings in their treasured mother tongue. There are traditional and non-traditional vows, vows for second marriages, vows that include children, reaffirmation vows, vows inspired by classic poetry and even theme wedding vows.
The music?
We can also discuss music and other aspects of the ceremony. Traditionally, couples
choose musical accompaniment for three parts of the ceremony. The prelude, when
the guests are seated, the Processional and the Recessional. Maybe you have a
friend who is a musician or a singer, or you might have a favorite song. These
are all exciting and creative elements at your disposal. |
A reading?
A reading is a chance to include honored friends or family in the
ceremony, alternatively, many couples choose to read something significant
themselves. This is also an opportunity to pay homage to a religious
upbringing or the beliefs of your family with a piece of significant
religious text. It could also be a translation of a favored writer
from your heritage like Pablo Neruda or Haruki Murakami. Whatever
you decide, lets try and find a way of letting your guests know
why this is significant for you.
Congratulations on your union and best of luck in the preparation,
the day and the rest of your lives. I look forward to assisting
you with this ceremony. Most importantly, I am delighted that two
people have been lucky enough to find each other. |
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